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At Night my Mind Wonders

I lay here alone at night, with my thoughts. In darkness wondering who I am sometimes I don’t know anymore other than I am just here. My mind spirals; why am I here? What am I doing? What’s my purpose? What’s even my passion? What’s my legacy? What do I want people to know about me… ? I know what people and society want me to be and I get angry that people always have an opinion about my passions when they themselves are following their passions. "Oh it doesn’t make money" but what does when you first start out? I hate it because it makes me rethink all my decisions when all I wanted to do was make a name for myself and be successful and happy in doing what I love. In return this makes me think of who I am, questioning my decisions and I’m miserable. It irritates me that people are like "the only explanation you owe is to yourself", ok, how would I know that? If I wanted your opinion I’d ask! I want to be who I want to be, not what other people want me to be.

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