This was written for an assignment as a fake episode of a podcast.
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For this month's episode of “Inspiring Artists - Inspiring Artists” I will be interviewing Fiona McClure who will be talking about her experiences living with a disability, or as she talked about in her popular opinion piece, parability, in the world of music and theater arts. I chose to interview her because I think the way she lives her life with strength and resilience is inspiring to other musicians and artists. Fiona recently published an opinion piece that got me thinking about this issue in the New York Times about modifications and accommodations in college music courses and performances. Since she recently wrote this piece, I want to have her on the podcast to talk about it.
Thanks for coming on the show, Fiona! To start, I just wanted to ask you to introduce yourself a bit and about your experience as an artist with a parability and why you’re passionate about inclusivity in the arts, especially music and theater.
Thanks for having me on! As you said, my name is Fiona, and I’m a musician and actress with Cerebral Palsy, also known as CP. There’s been a lot of challenging things physically and I would say mentally too because I feel like I get looked down on and get dismissed and that is really hard for me because there are a lot of assholes out there and people who just aren’t understanding and just flat out rude. For example, like you mentioned in your introduction, some people like myself don’t like to use the words disabled, handicapped, or special needs. Instead, I prefer to use para-abled as a way to neutralize the way we refer to ourselves. I feel like I work very hard and give 110 percent into the arts and no one recognizes it and they only see me as someone with a parability and I want to change that because we’re humans too, we have feelings. I would want people to be more sensitive and empathetic to people with varying levels of ability. I want to shift the way that people view us. It is important, especially in a classroom setting, to provide what are known as modifications and accommodations for para-abled students. I derive this word from the paralympics as a way of referring to a spectrum of varying abilities. It’s really just a difference of the Latin root words para and dis, para meaning alongside of or beside; whereas dis means apart from.
Going off of that, in your words, what do modifications and accommodations in the arts mean to you?
I personally like to define modifications, especially in a classroom setting, as a change in the nature of the course assignment itself. For example, a professor for a class might assign a large paper between 2500 and 3000 words, but I would only be required to write 1500 words. Accommodations, on the other hand, allow for more leniency so I can finish the assignment as given instead of the assignment itself changing, such as getting extra time on exams and writing papers. However, when it comes to my music and musical theater classes and productions, there are certain modifications and accommodations that help me and other students who have similar physical parabilities succeed in the arts. For example, I worked closely with my high school theater director on certain blocking movements during rehearsal to help integrate me into a successful performance with the rest of the actors. In that production, I had a singing and dancing role. I like the way that the director handled how I can dance by modifying the choreography, allowing me to participate with upper body movements while limiting the involvement of the lower body.
I think it’s also important for people to understand that there is no one size fits all modifications or accommodations. For example, I have CP, which affects my movement, so many of the modifications and accommodations I use often have to do with movement and choreography in musical theater. Another actor with parabilities, Mickey Rowe, is autistic and legally blind. One of the main accommodations he discusses is the text size of his scripts, particularly in cold-read auditions. I think he explains the need for accommodations and modifications very well, saying that when his text is too small, the audition becomes more of a vision test than an actual audition, meaning that when individuals with parabilities are not given proper accommodations and modifications, the artistic process becomes more about what someone with a parability can’t do rather than what they can do (Rowe).
I feel like modifications and accommodations are important to talk about because I don’t think a lot of people know how to work with people with parabilities. I always ask instructors if they know how to modify and accommodate and I’ve gotten mixed results. Some people are super nice about it while others are inexperienced and don’t want to work with me. I think people in education, ideally, should have some sort of experience with this instead of putting all that burden on people with parabilities.
What has your experience with CP been like?
In high school, people in my grade would whisper about me, stare at me, and bully me. They would even copy my movements and then say that I was faking CP. I have been made fun of a lot and have not been believed. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts before, and I think my experience with CP was a factor in those thoughts. Even today I still notice people staring at me. As well, CP messes with my balance and causes me to fall frequently, and often when I do, people just tend to stand there not helping me, which is awkward and embarrassing. Although with time, maturity, and growth I’ve learned not to worry so much about how people perceive me, I still feel self-conscious about people staring at me.
Now let’s get into more of your experience in the arts. How and why did you first learn to sing?
Some of my earliest memories are me teaching myself to sing in the orphanage. I remember one time in particular when doctors told me I would never walk on my own, and after, I laid in bed, unable to even sit up from lack of nutrition, and sang along to music playing on the TV. When I was younger, I would always be singing, so much so that my friends said the house was a “music box”. I was singing all day, in the house, in public, everywhere I went. I taught myself lots of songs at the orphanage, but the main one I remember is “Amazing Grace”. The first time I remember performing was singing at Sunday church when I was 9 years old. I sang there a lot and I would sometimes perform with a choir and sometimes by myself. I started singing because I felt broken and I guess I just turned to music in the hard times because it was the only way I could find a way out. I leaned on music because I felt lost, vulnerable, and confused, and it helped me through those dark times and it continues to help me today.
So it seems like you are a firm believer in a connection between music and maintaining mental wellbeing. Would you say that’s true?
Yes, I firmly do believe that. Studies have shown that music can help with depression, cognitive ability, and stress, and I feel strongly from my own experience that these are true (Cherry). This is part of the reason I feel so strongly that people with parabilities should be included in these spaces. My experiences in the music world have sometimes caused me to be depressed and draw back from music despite the fact that I love it and it has helped me through my struggles. I feel that the barriers in place for people with parabilities in the arts keeps us from being able to fully experience these benefits the way we should be able to.
What about your first experience in theater? What was it like?
I remember auditioning for the fall play as a freshmen in high school for Noises Off and not getting cast. I remembered feeling nervous about the audition and my legs trembling as they called my name out on stage. They said “Fiona are you ready?”, “Yes”, I replied. After the audition wrapped up, I heard people saying some not so nice things about me. I felt sick to my stomach and I immediately regretted my decision to audition and felt discouraged. I ended up continuing to pursue theatrical roles because I loved it so much, but this experience has taught me that your faculty and peers don’t always see you as a person and often end up looking down on people with parabilities. So, I guess to answer your question about my first experience in theater, it really didn’t go well, however, I’ve had a lot of great experiences since then working as an actor and as someone working backstage.
What were some of those good experiences? Was there anything in particular about these experiences that made them good for you?
Grease was the first musical I was cast in, and when I learned I got the part, I screamed because I was so excited! I was on an all time high! Footloose, Beauty and the Beast, Adams Family, and High School Musical were also highlights. In terms of what made them great experiences, I think the key factor was my director. She worked with me a lot on things like blocking and choreography and really helped me feel included. She was very good at modifying, for example, she showed me how to do the choreography with just my upper body and didn’t make me walk up and down the stairs on stage like the other students did, and would instead be able to walk straight on from backstage. I didn’t have to be the girl that everyone stared at and looked at weirdly. I didn't want to be seen as the girl with the parability, but rather as just a member of the cast like anyone else, and my director really helped me feel that way. I really felt like she believed in me, and that was a very monumental moment to me. The fact that someone could be so inclusive and respectful blew my mind a little, and that’s all I needed to keep going.
What are some barriers that people with parabilities face when wanting to pursue music and/or acting?
As I’ve said before, people can be assholes. Also, there is a lot of rejection in the arts, especially when you are someone who is para-abled. Rejection is a part of the arts for everyone, but when you are someone who is different, rejection can be an even larger part. There have been studies done that show that people with parabilities are more likely to participate in the arts and yet they are the most underrepresented group in the performing arts (Kataja). I have undeniably felt this in my own experience, and I’m sure other para-abled artists have as well.
What makes you feel confident and secure when you sing and act? How could people help others feel safe expressing themselves?
What makes me feel confident when I sing and act is when people are compassionate, patient, and understanding with me. I feel like when you work with someone who is para-abled, it is vital to encourage them and to be patient with them because if you’re not, it makes things a lot worse. The frustration that a lack of patience from instructors causes in students with parabilities can cause them to lose focus and comfort in their craft, which in turn makes it harder for them to engage with it all, and I’ve felt that in my own experience. I’ve had instructors blow up at me for taking a long time to figure something out, such as scales, and it’s made me feel sad and dehumanized. Being patient with students with parabilities allows them to flourish and build their confidence. Teachers shouldn’t get to wield around power over their students, especially students with parabilities. Instructors should make sure they communicate with their student(s) with parabilities with kindness rather than losing their temper. People with parabilities really need encouragement, praise, and to know that they are doing good work and that their work is recognized. In terms of creating a safe environment for self expression, not to beat a dead horse, but, don’t be an asshole. This is an issue for everyone in the arts, but I feel like it especially relates to me and others with parabilities in the arts. Many people I’ve encountered have told me I lack experience or need to do more work even though I have been doing music a long time and put a lot of effort into it. People can be very insensitive and scrutinize our work in unfair ways. Our work is often overlooked and cast aside and it can be very disheartening to deal with.
Are there any specific examples of instructors or directors in the arts that haven’t treated you fairly, or communicated a rejection in an overtly rude way?
Yes, there was this moment when I wanted to transfer from DU to Colorado Mesa University. I was interested in being a part of the voice department in the College of Music at CMU. In order to audition, I had to send in a video of me singing via email. The communications I had with the department after they rejected me were quite dehumanizing and made me feel like they had only seen me for my CP rather than as a human. As I’ve already talked about, rejection is undoubtedly part of the artistic process, but there are obviously correct and incorrect ways of handling the communication of that rejection, especially to students who might already be concerned about a different level of physical or cognitive ability compared to the other students also auditioning. No music program or theatrical production can accept everyone that auditions, that would be rather unfair to everyone involved, however, ideally, the directors of these programs and productions would communicate their rejections in a way that considers the student’s perspective on the receiving end.
Is there change that you have seen in the music industry or in the theater industry that makes you hopeful for a more inclusive future?
Yes, I have seen positive change in recent years but there’s still more that can be done. Organizations like Recording Artists and Music Professionals with Disabilities (RAMPD) have been pushing for more accessibility in the music industry by advocating for different accessibility issues such as having ramps available at music award shows (Zornosa). In the theater industry, one theater company I admire is Phamaly Theatre Company. Their mission is to make theater a more accessible experience both for actors with disabilities as well as audiences (Phamaly Theatre). As well, seeing successful actors with parabilities, such as Mickey Rowe who I mentioned earlier as well as Ali Stroker, who is a tony-award winning actress who uses a wheelchair, gives me a lot of hope for more inclusion for people with parablilities in the future of these industries. Although these incredible actors and these organizations and others like them have put in a lot of work and time and effort, there are still many accessibility issues in these spaces that need to be addressed. Making these spaces accessible is important for people with parabilities because they often feel like they don’t matter and aren’t taken seriously in these industries. As well, it’s important for the arts itself to have diverse stories told, and the barriers in place that come with being someone with parabilities in the arts often stop our stories from being heard.
Well, that’s all our time for today! Again, thank you so much for being here Fiona. Any last thoughts you want to share with the audience?
If there is a moral I want to leave the audience with it is this: please, for the love of god, don’t be an asshole. I promise it’s not as hard as it sounds. But on a more serious note, and to actually discuss what I came to say, I really want people with parabilities in music and theater to be seen, heard, and to feel like they matter. I also want to push people in music and theater, whether they are educators or performers, to educate themselves and be empathetic when working with people who have parabilities.
Well said! Thank you again for coming and thanks to all our listeners at home. Please subscribe to our podcast and sign up for our Patreon to get episodes a day early. Thank you! See you next episode!
Sources
Kataja, Rosanna. “Inclusion, Don’t Forget about Us: Disabilities in Performing Arts.” Harvard
Political Review, 24 Oct. 2020, harvardpolitics.com/disabilities-in-performing-arts/#:~:text=Dash%20noted%20that%2C%20despite%20being%20the%20most%20underrepresented. Accessed 12 May 2023.
“About Phamaly Theatre Company.” Phamaly Theatre Company,
Zornosa, Laura. “A New Coalition Amplifies Disability Culture in the Music Industry.” The New
York Times, 20 Jan. 2022, www.nytimes.com/2022/01/20/arts/music/rampd-disability-culture-music-industry.html.
Mickey Rowe, ““Differences and Perceived Weaknesses Are Actually Our Strengths” by Mickey
Rowe.” Www.youtube.com, www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdJlQrjtCYM. Accessed 19 May 2023.
Cherry, Kendra. “How Listening to Music Can Have Psychological Benefits.” Verywell Mind,
Verywellmind, 10 Dec. 2019, www.verywellmind.com/surprising-psychological-benefits-of-music-4126866